we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
