Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
