Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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