I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I look better un-naked...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
