Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
