My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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