party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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