So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
