Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
