she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
my being single is dangerous.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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