The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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