I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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