Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
