how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have aggressive nipples.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
