i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
