so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He did a backflip because drugs
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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