After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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