he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
