When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
