even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
