Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
