Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize