omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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