Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
