By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
