just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
