I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
