The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize