then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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