are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
