Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think people are normalizing furries
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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