She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
