Little spoons don't ask big questions
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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