Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
