just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
