I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
