she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
