it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I think my moral compass just broke
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
