it hurts more in the daytime
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
