why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
