wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
