im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
