I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
