he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
