is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
