mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Soap is not a condiment
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
