How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
