Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he shaved USA in his pubs
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Mom said you looked used
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
