I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
