so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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