The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
