So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
