just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize