i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Two words: blizzard sex
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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