The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
