He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
