Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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