I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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