so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
