i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
His nipple licking is glorious
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