i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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