i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
