oh god the rape fog is back!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
