why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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