I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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